Thursday, March 8, 2012

I Escaped One Possible Future...

Have you ever dated or had a brief fling w/ someone who made it all too easy to walk away from him/her? I know that sounds twisted because you don’t enter relationships to hope for a clean break at the end but luckily this in fact happened to me. 

Right before I met CJ I had a brief fling w/ a certain guy, let’s call him Abe, and it really was all a matter of friend association. We all hung out and then when it came time to pair up I wound up w/ Abe. I had been single for a while and drowning a lil in self pity. This man at first helped lift my spirits up. He made me laugh, told me I was pretty, and told me I wasn’t like other girls yada yada. My weekends were booked and I had a warm shoulder to lay my head on. But the other sides of his personality reared their ugly heads. 

He was a total jerk and if any man or woman tells you “Quantity over Quality” in regards to relationships, just turn and walk away. 

One night I did exactly that. It’s been about 2 years now since all of this crap, and I honestly forget the conversation that pushed me over the edge. After about 3 months of this fling, I got up, picked up my high heels, and rushed for the door. I think I had found out I was just a penny in Abe’s life… “One out of Many”and I didn’t even say goodbye. I looked him dead in the eye and just walked away. The door was right there welcoming me and I walked calmly out of it. I didn’t even cry, not once. 

Abe tried to come back in my life 6 months after, and then again, but I didn’t answer the phone or respond to any text. That door was so closed behind me.

Fast forward to now…My friend Zoe, is still friends w/ Abe and when I spoke to her briefly yesterday she started off the conversation as, “You Escaped!” I was like  “Huh?” and she responded, “Everyone’s joking about how Melanie escaped from Abe! HA!” Apparently she found out Abe is now married and having his first kid in a few weeks. They got married for health insurance reasons. She says he’s changed and is looking forward to be a father. BUT then she told me he asked about how I was doing & said he missed me… You have a baby on the way and your married and you’re still asking about a girl who dumped you over 2 years ago? I told Zoe there’s your answer on if he has truly changed…

This all irked me a lil bit and I figured out why. I did escape his trap of a life w/ him. He wasn’t the most careful of men in certain areas, but I was a lil too wise beyond my years w/ him too. I wasn’t going to play the game anymore and hope he got nicer to me down the line. He had told me he wanted to get married one day & have kids and be a good father. It all sounded sweet, but then he would belittle me w/ such a quick jab comment that it could give you whip plash from the swiftness. It truly boggles my mind how people could be so nice one minute and then such a horror the next. Yeah, he could have changed, but I still have to let out a sigh of relief it’s some other girl w/ him now, not me. 

Now I’m w/ such a great man who tells me he loves me at the end of every phone call. CJ and I maybe planning a vacation to San Antonio, Texas and then a road trip to Phoenix, AZ. This is a future I look forward to a lil more each day. What an amazing difference 2 years will make…


  1. I had a VERY similar experience right before I met M. I dated this guy for about 6 weeks, and he was OVER the TOP! On our second date he dropped the L Bomb on me, and he was just too intense. We also didn't have very many similar interests and I realized I only kept seeing him because I was afraid of being alone. So I ended it. But for month she wouldn't stop calling & texting me, saying he "needed" to see me. Even after he started dating someone else and got engaged to her! Finally, right before his wedding date I sent him an email and told him that if he didn't stop contacting me I would forward all his emails, voicemails and texts to his bride. That killed it quick. And I'm SO glad I got off that train when I did!

  2. Good for you!! And it looks like you ended up with the right person! Isn't it funny how things work out in the end?

  3. you are a smart girl...glad you escaped :) and i'm glad you and CJ are still together and happy!!!

  4. Holy yes!! You were not only super lucky to escape HIM but you were incredibly lucky to get away when you did so you could meet CJ. He is a one in a million guy, Mel. You two are PERFECT together. I have long told you that you deserved someone a billion times better than Abe. He was a user and not worthy of anyone. He's even using his own baby mama. Sick!! I love that your story has a happy ending. No one deserves it more than you. xoxox

  5. I think it's safe to say that we are ALL SOOO happy you escaped also. You were a strong person before when you left but I think you are so much stronger even now. I love this perspective.