Will You Tell Me I Look Fat In That Dress In the Future? – A Relationship Post

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New Couples are blossoming everywhere  this Spring  in CJ & I’s social life. One couple is CJ’s cousin, Katrina, & her new boyfriend, Clyde. They met about 2 weeks ago, but hit it off so they are already boyfriend & girlfriend. *Insert “Awww” sound.* Even though it is so new that it has a new car smell, they have already had their first constructive argument where Katrina got mad at Clyde’s answer to a small question. 

“Will You Tell Me I Look Fat in That Dress In the Future?”

Clyde said, “Yes I would tell her.” Now, personally I applaud Clyde's honesty to Katrina right off the bat. It may sound mean, but he didn't say it in a condescending way or as a snicker, he was just telling the truth. Depending on how you act on those first dates, a few stretched truths sometimes wiggle their way into the “About Me” categories. I told Katrina to not be mad at him that he would tell her about a future dress but appreciate that he would give her a true blunt honest response. Sometimes due to the relationship status those stretched truths become lies so the other person doesn't get hurt, but I'm a sucker for pure honesty.

I would be so happy if CJ told me that I didn't look good in that dress or those shoes. He actually hates these pair of flats I bought, but I realized he only hates them because the design is too busy. When he told me he didn't like them, I of course was pissed for a second, but then I took them off and changed my shoes. Every girl I know loves them on me, so it must be a girl thing to like them. CJ didn't yell or sound like a jerk, he simply stated "Hey Babe, I don't like those shoes, you should wear those black ones. They are really cute on you." I'm not going to NOT wear these shoes anymore, but I'm only going to wear them when he isn't around. I guess I'm weird but because he was honest & not an asshole about it, I took the criticism and went on like nothing happened. Even CJ was shocked I didn't blow up at him.

I calmly told CJ that I thought how he told me about not liking the shoes was nicely done. I think guys forget that they can say something negative to their girlfriends without coming off as an assholes if they tell us nicely & constructively. I told Clyde all of that after hearing about the future dress issue, and said well don't come right and say "That dress makes you look fat" to Katrina, but perhaps say, "Hey, hmmm...I like that other dress you wore to so & so better. Why don't you wear that, instead?" Clyde nodded, hugged me, and said I hope I remember that because that's perfect! 

Am I crazy here or,

If Guys tell us Nicely & Constructively Instead of being an Asshole that the Dress is Unflattering is it Okay??  Or Should they Lie??

What are your thoughts on this matter??

Weekend Stolen Moment...A Garter & A Bouquet...

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What a week that just passed. A sleep-infused much needed weekend followed. I've never been so emotionally tired. Each morning tho, I woke up in CJ's arms and it was just so wonderful & peaceful I barely wanted to wake up. If CJ & I wind up together for the long haul I love that I have pictures of when him and I first met. There is even a picture from the night when we first became boyfriend & girlfriend. I wonder if one day I can show our kids these pictures and say this is when Mommy & Daddy met. How cool is that?

This weekend I went over to my grandparents' house to start organizing old photos and found pictures of the day my parents met. It was a classic story of a girl catching the bouquet & a boy catching the garter and a wedding. My mom's sorority sister was my father's cousin, ergo they both were this lady's wedding.  It always sounded so romantic to me. Then my Mom called my Father for the date 3 days later and they went to see Star Wars. =) 

Well now I can actually see the story unfold before me. It was so awesome I had to share...

The day my parents met in pictures in 1978. 

My Mom caught the bouquet as my cousin katie tried to grab it.

My cousin Cookie & abula tried to help my Mom up.

I love my Mom's hair in this picture... She looked so pretty. I've actually worn this dress...<3

My father is the handsome man in the purple shirt & vest w/ the garter in his hand.

Apparently my Mom said to my father you can go up a lil higher...

My Mom says she still remembers this kiss...she knew then & there she had to see him again...

I am so happy to have found these pictures. I will cherish them always...

What Were Your Weekend Stolen Moments? 

I'd love to hear...

Besame Mucho... *Just Breathe*

"Besame Mucho" in Spanish means "Kiss Me Much." It was one of my grandmother's favorite songs to play on the piano. I can still hear her banging it out on the piano as I write this post. I will never forget how beautiful it sounded.

The past 3 days have been a set of the hardest days of my life. Saying goodbye & gathering up all the memories in my mind to ensure they are in a special place. My grandmother was such a lively woman who had such a strong laugh you could hear it outside if you were inside & vise versa. From her beautiful life I have to take from her some valuable lessons & realize I have to live everyday to the fullest w/ all the world's joys. For example, I have to learn how to salsa dance better. Cj and I love to dance and he especially loves Spanish music. I want to be able to dance w/ a glass on my head just like her. I want to always have love in my heart and cherish it. I want to learn how to make empanadas. I want to have parties to bring people joy like she always did. I want to make people happy. I want to finish the Moonlight Sonata that her & I never finished when I was younger on the piano. It makes me smile wanting to do all of this. Yes...I can't wait.

I'm also going to try and get as many photos as I can find at my grandparent's house and put them properly in albums. My grandfather said I can do whatever I want. I'm going to have to be the one to keep all the records and I am delighted at the chance. I can't wait for that either.

It's never easy losing a family member. But through friends, family, and precious memories it does make it a lil easier. One day at time... =)

R.I.P Grandma Carmen...You are Loved & Missed Already...

No one ever wants to write this blogpost but it must be written. One of my grandmothers, my father's mother, Carmen, passed away yesterday afternoon at 12:52pm. She was 87 years old. I'm okay, but of course you have to cry off and on. She is at peace now. I got to see her on Saturday and got to tell her I loved her. The last time I saw her awake was my last weekend's stolen moment. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Melanie I love you". That is one of the greatest stolen moments I will never ever forget. I loved her so much. She was one hell of a feisty Spanish lady from Santa Domingo in the Dominican Republic. She would always dance w/  a glass of water on her head, and tell me stories of from the 50's of meeting Charleston Heston, and how beautiful the Domincan Republic is, and I will always remember her cackling laugh. She played the piano all the time and was such a wonderful gardener. I would love listen to her play for hours and hours. She was the belle of the ball.

Today was the hardest day of all. We had to make arrangements and my poor grandfather & father froze. I stepped in and helped at the parlor. I feel like I've aged 10 years today but I needed to take today off from work & needed to be there for my family. I can't stop sighing. I'll never stop replaying my memories of her over and over in my head. Please God bless my grandmother & St Anthony find her so she can rest in peace. Love you always Grammy.

I'll miss you Grammy. Love you, always...

Resolved Conflict-Well, Sort Of...My Way to 27 Dresses - Dress #1 - Part III

I love writing those words at my job. Resolved Conflict. Well, the Bridesmaid's dress fiasco is almost over so I can almost write that down for this part of the wedding. The bridesmaids dress has been picked and it is very pink and has a one shoulder strap floral strap. I hate to say it but I actually like the dress. If I got rid of the floral strap I could use it again in the future. I'm not sure if I'm saying that with sarcasm or not. lol. But it is very pretty & very flattering, perfect for a Spring wedding. I can't believe all that bloodletting and chaos was over one simple dress that wasn't even a $100. *Shaking my head*

That total Myspace-esque picture up there is me in my Aunt's bathroom when I was trying the dress on earlier for the lady to get her alteration measurements. Luckily it won't be that many alterations, just in the bust. I was swimming in it, but everywhere else fit perfect. *Let out breath I was holding...* Also  I found silver shoes at Sears and seriously only paid $16 for them, thank you Veteran's Day Preview sale. They are a perfect heel height for the dress. Yeah!!

Pardon me that the pictures are in the bathroom, but my Aunt doesn't have a full-length mirror. Here is the dress & shoes...The dress is down to the floor too.

Well there's the dress...

What do you think? Not bad huh? 

In case your wondering what type of fiasco I'm referring to, here is the other two posts about my trials as a Bridesmaid in the cousin's wedding...

On My Way to 27 Dresses- Dress #1 - Part 1

On My Way to 27 Dresses - Dress #1 - Part II

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A Future Purchase that Must Be Made...

I have fought the urge long enough...I want to buy a Kitchenaid stand mixer. These beautiful & colorful mixer have been around since 1955 and finally seeing one this afternoon at Williams Sonoma I felt the pang in my chest of "I Want One". I guess my Kitchen Aid clock started ticking, hehe.

I have a mixer that used to be Mother's and I swear she's had that thing since I was a lil girl. At least 20 or so years if not more. It does the job good for my cupcake classes but it's time to breakout the new.

The price is approximately $300. That's not terrible, but when your watching ever penny to save money it's going to be a mini feat because you can't just buy the mixer...there are attachments.I would love the pasta making one and the ice cream one.

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Well, I'm definitely going to be watching the store circulars and watching the online overstock shops. If I don't get one now, this maybe my "Day after Thanksgiving" splurge piece. Ooo if I buy it at Kohl's on a weekend where there is a 30% coupon AND Extra-Bucks for every $50 spent, buying the mixer at $300 wouldn't be that bad. Hmmm...decisions decisions.. =)

This is the one I'd like to buy: 

So pretty... =)

Do you have  Kitchen Aid Mixer? Is it worth the hype or are their horror stories?? 

I'd love to hear...

Hmmm...What to Make of This??

By the picture, I'm sure you guys are questioning why I put of a picture up from the awesome movie "The Proposal" to kick off my post. Well there is a reason and I hope there aren't people who are reading my blog that I don't know about in my daily life. Anywho let's get started...

Two weeks ago, a person in my life, not CJ, asked me what type of wedding ring I would like in case CJ proposed to me. This person is very close to him and if I was an anime cartoon I would have been flying through the air with lil hearts everywhere when she asked me. She had a catalog to show me from Macy's so I could get an idea. After the glow of being asked this question wore off, I was absolutely flabbergasted she asked me about this because I have no idea if it's just her wanting to know my dream ring or if this is CJ asking me for him so he'd have a clue...Or is it a completely different reason all together?? I wonder...

But honestly I'm scared to start poking around the gossip wheel for that information because I want to be suprised if this a real legitimate possibility in my future. But now I'm trying so hard to NOT to let it slip that this occurrence happened when I'm talking to CJ. I have been trying not to put any pressure on him about moving in, which still hasn't happened, or eventually getting married. We've only been together 2 years...there is no reason to rush. This is exciting tho...I'm keeping my fingers crossed... =)

Monday, Monday...

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Good Moring, Monday Morning. I can’t help but hum “Monday Monday” by the Mammas & the Pappas today. It seems like it’s going to be just “one of those days”. I’m already at work trying to jot down these quick ideas before I start the multitude of work I have to complete. If there only was a way to squeeze out a lil more time in the morning for daydreaming and organizing…hmmm…

This weekend was full of love, birthdays, memories & sinking ships. I saw all 4 of my grandparents over the course of the 2 jam-packed days and hearing “I love you Melanie” from each of them warmed my soul. One of the greatest stolen moments. I know I say this a lot, but I’m truly lucky to have them all in my life. One of my grandmother’s turned 87 yesterday. Unbelievable & she is still feisty as ever.  Hehe. Saturday night my friend Zoe and I went to see the movie Titanic on the 100^th anniversary of the infamous day. She and I went to see the movie 15 years ago when it first came out. I still cried, but how could you not?  A lot of things have changed since then that it’s truly crazy. We didn’t even have cell phones back then & couldn’t get into the movie without a parent present. Lol. Seeing it on the big screen again I noticed a few new things too. I didn’t realize it was Billy Zane’s family who funded the whole expedition for the Diamond & at 11 I didn’t know that the Guggenheims were on that ship. Poor people, may they all rest in peace.

This week is going to be a mish mosh of cake pops, more family visits, possibly seeing CJ’s new band rock it out in their very own studio space, and the Bridal Shower for my cousin’s fiancée. I’m basically going to hold on and let the roller coaster take me where it wants to this week. Here’s hoping it all pans out alright! 

I have to start working, but I want to leave you guys with this thought. 

“It’s never too late to start something great.” 

While Zoe and I was waiting to see Titanic, we went to Barnes & Noble real fast. I was rummaging around the bargain books and there was this lil coffee table book about 172 things that it is never too late to start. It was so motivating thumbing through it’s pages I have to pass that thought on to you. 

Happy Monday & Best Wishes for the week! 

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The Weekend is Almost Here!!

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Sweet Weekend you are almost here! I seemed to blink and you were gone, but seriously this week overstayed it's welcome w/ way too much work. I  couldn't seem to get my footing w/ anything constructive. It happens, but hopefully I can catch up some rest tomorrow. 

Tomorrow I'm going to visit one of my grandmother's in the hospital. She was not feeling well and has no energy. Hopefully some re-hydration & some antibiotics will do her some good! Sunday it's my other grandmother's 87th birthday! Seriously these women are so strong and have been such a positive influence on my life. I love them so much! 

Maybe just maybe I will even get to see Titanic. I first saw it when I was 11...Unbelievable how time flies. Now I can go see it without a parent & don't need the token sex/nudity talk I got back then. lol. Hopefully too I can get some reading time for "The Hunger Games." I started it and the book did grip me but my auto-pilot tendencies this week knocked the wind out of me a lil too much to pick it up again.

Best wishes everybody for a lovely weekend!

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A Lil Bit About Me...

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In this blog world, sometimes it’s hard to paint a picture of what type of person the blogger actually is in real life. I realized I haven’t done many “About Me” posts since I started this new blog for my new followers. Yes, you’ve seen I teach a cupcake decorating class, love to eat in a fancy restaurant every once in a blue moon, I’m trying to process becoming an actual adult w/ adult decisions, and that I’m the person people come to with their issues, but I have a lot more random things up my sleeves each day. 

 Me!

 Here is a few lil tid bits of who I am:

*One of my favorite things ever is Blooper Reels. I can watch them over and over. My Favorites are old Star Trek ones & Big Bang Theory.

*Once upon a time I wanted to be a Fashion Designer…and a Writer….and then a Lawyer…and then an Engineer…Settled for a Bachelor’s in Mathematics. Maybe I’ll get my dream engineering job one day!

*I’m obsessed w/ anything Nightmare before Christmas. I don’t think I can count how many lil things I have for that movie! From Christmas Ornaments, to dolls, to music boxes, to cell phone charms to you name it.

*I am a walking Jeopardy board. I know so much random information it could make your head spin…especially about movies…Ask Me Anything…

*All through my life I’ve been compared to Sleeping Beauty because I always look exhausted. My engineering sorority name was even Aurora. My car’s name is Aurora. I hope one day I can name a baby girl Aurora…if not the name will definitely land in one of my stories.

*I have Adult A.D.H.D. and it sucks, plain and simple. I have to sometimes force my brain to cooperate w/ myself. It’s sort of like the TV remote to my brain is stuck in the sofa cushions flipping the channels on their own, but most of the time I win the war and find the remote.

*I can be the laziest person ever. Here’s an example: It’s April now and I STILL have Christmas bows in my car. Yeah…I need to seriously get my act in gear one day very soon. 

*I love meeting famous people. I met Dan Akroyd & have a signed Skullhead vodka bottle, I met Pat Benatar and have her signed book, Molly Ringwald too! I am always looking for a new signing!!

*My favorite show of all-time was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Everytime I catch it on, I HAVE to watch it!! 

*I am a self-diagnosed Pack Rat. I have everything from an Alex Mack board game, to Victorian Marie Antoinette figurines, to saved concert & movie tickets, to Batman action figures, to old bookmarks, to boxes...i love tiny boxes and candy dishes...In my future houses I long to have an office so I can showcase it all, my own private lil corner. CJ will have his man cave & I will have my office. =)

* My lil claim to fame is that I was an extra in The Birthday Massacre video, "Looking Glass". They are my favorite band and I got to chill w/ them for 2 whole days. They are amazing!! It was one of the coolest experiences in my life. I'll have to write it about it more in future posts!

Well that's a lil bit about me, hope you enjoyed getting to know me a lil better!

 Do you feel that sometimes it's hard to convey who you truly are w/ blogging?

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Easter Holiday Madness...Stolen Moments...

Remember that movie, Four Christmases? Well  Cj & I did just that...Easter version. I'll give you a timeline...

Saturday 1pm = Visit one of my grandmother's in the hospital. 

Saturday 3pm = Passover Seder at CJ's Mom's friend's house

Satuday 9pm = CJ's cousin Sam's birthday party

Sunday 10am = Easter lunch at my other Grandparent's house  in Connecticut

Sunday 3pm = Easter Dinner at CJ's cousin's house. 

Somehow we squeezed it all in. It was a lil tough to be honest. By the last car ride home, I was so quiet CJ asked me what was wrong? I told him sheer exhaustion, which is a serious understatement. hehe.

Long story short, here are some photos from my weekend! 

Be back tomorrow! =)

Harvey - the Invisible Rabbit...Or is he?

 

Hi Everyone! Right before Easter I thought I would tell you about a lil movie about a man and a bunny. James Stewart, the actor, is the star of the movie and this film is a lil different than the usual popular films. In this one, James Stewart plays a man who happens to have a friend named, Harvey. However Harvey is only seen by this one man. The hysteria commences, and there is some really witty dialogue, and yes people think James is utterly insane. BUT then a few interesting lil things happen, including a portrait of James & his friend Harvey is made and you are staring at a very large, white rabbit. Is Harvey real, is he not, or is James crazy? It's an adorable comedy that was made in 1950 that really should make it onto TV and TCM more. It actually has an 8.1 rating on IMDB, surprisingly.

"The classic stage hit gets the Hollywood treatment in the story of Elwood P. Dowd who makes friends with a spirit taking the form of a human-sized rabbit named Harvey that only he sees (and a few privileged others on occasion also.) After his sister tries to commit him to a mental institution, a comedy of errors ensues. Elwood and Harvey become the catalysts for a family mending its wounds and for romance blossoming in unexpected places."  - via Imdb.

I highly recommend this cute lil movie! It makes you laugh, smile, and appreciate the lil joys of life! I give it a 10! =)

I truly hope you all have a great holiday weekend, be it Easter or Passover or any holiday, Enjoy!!  

- Love, Melanie <3

Shouldn't I Have Recieved the Invitation By Now??? Is that Normal....

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As my life is starting to take the next twists & turns, I'm starting to realize I am more naive on certain subjects than I thought. For example following a lot of Mommy blogs I'm learning what to do, what not to do, and what to expect, and how to properly nose clip your nose for the first diaper overloads... But all of that will come in due time when I'm ready.

Mostly now, my life is throwing at me a few weddings, especially my cousin's wedding, which has just been a bag of fun & surprises *insert sarcasm here*. The wedding is May 20th. This is my first wedding where I have been part of it and I'm frankly a lil confused on the timing of everything so I'm hoping to bat around some ideas w/ everyone here so the next wedding I have to help plan I'll have more of a clue. I also have to add in for my cousin's wedding that he is very lazy and it appears that his fiancee is a queen at procrastinating. Here has been the timeline of receiving information. 

SAVE THE DATE:

The wedding is May 20th. Guests received the "Save the Date" cards in late February. A lil less than 3 months before the wedding. But then a wedding I have to go to on November 10th, 2012 sent out the "Save the Date" magnets in early March, roughly 7 months before. I think the 7 months prior is better.

What is the Protocol on How Early to send the "Save the Date" card??

 

WEDDING INVITATIONS:

As I've stated, my cousin's wedding is a lil over 2 months away and I have not recieved the wedding invitation yet. I just received the Bridal Shower invitation, which the shower is in 2 weeks. But because this is my first wedding I'm being invited to, I really don't know if this is odd....

What is the Protocol on How Early to send the Wedding Invitations?

 

 

 Any Ideas?

The Dating Game...Only Three or Four Dates??

Over the course of the past month, a few of my friends have complained to me about the same exact thing and I'm honestly drawing a blank. Each girl has met a guy either online, at a bar, one at her kickboxing class, and another was a friend of friend. I've seen these girls be so happy and hopeful about the charm and prospects of the new men in their lives. They are planning new date ideas, telling me how they talked all night, and one went to karaoke on the first date. One of my friends actually went to the same restaurant CJ took me on our first date. I would smile at them and say, "Hey, I'll keep my fingers crossed for ya!".

Fast forward to after three or four dates...that seems to be the magic number here...the guys will start acting peculiar. One told my friend Julia, he was so tired and broke plans with her for Friday night. Low & behold on Facebook, the same guy mentioned how great the Mass Effect 3 game was that same night. She never heard from him again. Another friend, the guy seemed perfect on paper, but admitted that he forget he had a Fantasy Baseball draft one Friday night that should have been the 5th date. Understandable, so my friend let it go and tried to make plans for Saturday night w/ him. He said he again had plans he had forgotten about that he had made w/ the guys. She is currently still waiting to hear from him...With another the guy just seemed to disappear into thin air after those three or four dates...

After every date in the beginning w/ CJ, he would say to me after a few moments of making out, when can I see you again? I think we had a date every few days for a month before I was his girlfriend. We never had that hurdle to overcome of the first few dates block. Every one of my friends w/ this 3-4 date issue are asking me why CJ and I didn't have this problem and asking him how did you know Melanie was someone you wanted to see that next time and next time? "We clicked and somehow it just felt right..." Well that isn't the greatest answer to give. But I haven't always been this lucky w/ guys.

I dated this Drummer Boy for a while, but after the 5th date he admitted he wasn't done yet w/ his dating life and didn't want to settle down. I at least in that scenario got a straight answer and didn't waste my time. Another guy I dated, the Spanish boy w/ the grey eyes, after 3 dates called me the wrong name and told me he had pneumonia for 2 months straight was a coward. I saw on Myspace way back when he was dating a girl w/ the name he miscalled me. That magic numbers of 3-5 hit me in the face, not literally, but I kept trying...

I told those stories to my friends and they calmed down and proceeded to ask, "What is it about those first few dates that makes them run?? What are we doing wrong?" If it was only one friend it would be seem to be her or the guy, but 4 friends? It seems to be a pattern...and my friends are caught in the age-old question...Sigh...

What do you think on the 3-4 Date Curse? What's up w/ it??