New Couples are blossoming everywhere this Spring in CJ & I’s social life. One couple is CJ’s cousin, Katrina, & her new boyfriend, Clyde. They met about 2 weeks ago, but hit it off so they are already boyfriend & girlfriend. *Insert “Awww” sound.* Even though it is so new that it has a new car smell, they have already had their first constructive argument where Katrina got mad at Clyde’s answer to a small question.
“Will You Tell Me I Look Fat in That Dress In the Future?”
Clyde said, “Yes I would tell her.” Now, personally I applaud Clyde's honesty to Katrina right off the bat. It may sound mean, but he didn't say it in a condescending way or as a snicker, he was just telling the truth. Depending on how you act on those first dates, a few stretched truths sometimes wiggle their way into the “About Me” categories. I told Katrina to not be mad at him that he would tell her about a future dress but appreciate that he would give her a true blunt honest response. Sometimes due to the relationship status those stretched truths become lies so the other person doesn't get hurt, but I'm a sucker for pure honesty.
I would be so happy if CJ told me that I didn't look good in that dress or those shoes. He actually hates these pair of flats I bought, but I realized he only hates them because the design is too busy. When he told me he didn't like them, I of course was pissed for a second, but then I took them off and changed my shoes. Every girl I know loves them on me, so it must be a girl thing to like them. CJ didn't yell or sound like a jerk, he simply stated "Hey Babe, I don't like those shoes, you should wear those black ones. They are really cute on you." I'm not going to NOT wear these shoes anymore, but I'm only going to wear them when he isn't around. I guess I'm weird but because he was honest & not an asshole about it, I took the criticism and went on like nothing happened. Even CJ was shocked I didn't blow up at him.
I calmly told CJ that I thought how he told me about not liking the shoes was nicely done. I think guys forget that they can say something negative to their girlfriends without coming off as an assholes if they tell us nicely & constructively. I told Clyde all of that after hearing about the future dress issue, and said well don't come right and say "That dress makes you look fat" to Katrina, but perhaps say, "Hey, hmmm...I like that other dress you wore to so & so better. Why don't you wear that, instead?" Clyde nodded, hugged me, and said I hope I remember that because that's perfect!
Am I crazy here or,
If Guys tell us Nicely & Constructively Instead of being an Asshole that the Dress is Unflattering is it Okay?? Or Should they Lie??
What are your thoughts on this matter??